Customers; an incredible species to the retail world. All so diverse yet many all so similar. Keeping an eye out for certain types of customers should be a new series on the discovery channel. Instead of shark week, its retail week, where the annoying, most frequent customers invade the retail floors, stalking and fooling their prey, hunting for deals, feasting on the annoyance of employees and disposing of their remains all over the entire store. They mark their territory and intend on returning no matter what. * Insert Steve Irwin voice * Crikey! Look over there, it’s the five most common breeds of consumers lurking in between the shelves, hooks and racks, setting their eyes on their target.
- The Complainer: Nothing will ever content them nor do they want to be contented. They will complain until you give in or until they can turn a deaf man sound again. They will complain about anything and everything, nothing is out of their reach. From complaining about the service to complaining about the products, they will even start to complain about you. Don’t breathe too loud or else you won’t hear the end of it… or maybe you will. Ear plugs are a necessity and crucial to your survival when met with the rambunctious complainer.
- The Cheapskate: How dare they pay fifty cents more for a product at this location when it is half a dollar cheaper at a place that will take 5 dollars in gas to get to. Price matching is their love, barding is their mistress and antagonizing you, workers, for that 50 cents is the lust that drives them to the world of retail. They are the Gollum’s of the consumerism world, the creature that bore the One Ring, or this case, the protectors of their quarters, the precious of their lives. Don’t go too close to their wallets, they’ll bite and if you mention a price that is 5 dollars higher then where they had seen it before, get your stores defibrillator out, they’re going to need to be cleared.
- The Scammer: The masterminds of the retail realm. The everyday con artists that fill our stores with their games, tricks and “cunning” words. They are the customers that ask the infamous “do you work here?”, they are the ones who want to confuse you as much as they can to get what they want. Keep a close eye on your labels, they’ll switch them to get a better price. They will hold onto old deal tags to get the product for free or at 40% off on top of the deal. They are the ones who will switch the packaging of items to get it cheaper, or complain that a small thread (that they pulled out themselves) is poking out and needs to be discounted for 50% off. And if they hear the dreaded “no”, they will attempt to figure out an outrageous way to fool us, retail workers. But, as many mothers would say “You can’t fool us, we’ve seen it all before”.
- The Foreigner: You will need google translate, sign language and a translating dictionary to just say hello, let alone figure out what they want.
- The Litterbugs: They’re the customers that think the world is their landfill. That every shelf is a trash can. Cups, food, diapers, used tissues, you name it and they’ve left it. In their eyes, every retail worker is their maids, their garbage men. Each aisle is garbage system. Aisle 1: Recycling, Aisle 2: Garbage, Aisle 3: Compost. Slap on some disposable gloves and trash bags to the mandatory uniform requirements, retail is the new dump.
Encountering these customers, place a damper on our days. We try to remain positive when dealing with them, but sadly it doesn’t always turn out successfully. But through head nods, unanswered questions, manager interference and hopefully a wanted customer interruption, these customers can be dealt with.
Comment below if you’ve ever encountered any of these customers, we’d all love to hear!