How To Survive the Retail Floor

On the retail floor, it’s complete madness. Where ever you look, customers will be waving you down, trashing the aisles, making you question your sanity. And, as retail workers, we have to keep our calm and deal with the situations that want to makes us scream and cry and rip our leg hairs out.

As a retail community, we need to stick together. We need to show customers that we will not succumb to their antics. We will not give into their whining and complaining, and definitely won’t show them that their tricks and games are working. We will stay calm and collected and run the retail floor.

And believe me, I know on some days you think about quitting your retail job; just giving up and never having to deal with a single customer again. But, as bitter as you are, quitting is only letting them win. We need to stand our ground on OUR floor and show the customers who’s boss.

Trust me, them seeing us calm will drive them nuts. So here are some of my tips on how to survive the retail floor.

TIP #1: Your Bitch Face Will Be Your New Best Friend

When you’re in retail, you need a “bitch face.” If you’re unaware of what this face looks like, here’s an example:

bitch face
No one beats Kanye’s Bitch Face// Source: GIPHY

This is the face will be a live saver in stressful situations. It shows customers that you’re not going to take whatever bullshit they’re going to throw at you. Also, your bitch face is like a stone wall for your emotions. Once you make that face, whatever you’re feeling on the inside isn’t going to show. You’re not going to need to argue or fight or stress yourself out. That face is your shield, use it to your advantage.

And once you’ve perfected your bitch face, it might be so good that customers may intentionally avoid you. Now that’s when you know you’ve made it in the retail world.

TIP #2 The Back is Your Safe Haven

Now, if your bitch face doesn’t repel the customers and you feel your composure cracking, the back room or warehouse or wherever you can go that is customer free is your immediate get away. Do whatever you need to, to get away from the situation and take a breather before handling it again. You can go to the back, cuss the life out of the person, scream a little, angry cry, punch a wall, or do whatever you need to, to get your frustrations out.

Deep breaths… Deep breaths// Source: GIPHY

You’ll notice when you get back to the customer, that you’ll be able to think properly rather than having your thoughts all jumbled because you’re stressed and can’t think of more than two words without the F word slipping in between every other word.

TIP #3 Befriending a Manager Has It’s Benefits

Work Besties!// Source: GIPHY

No one wants to be known as the kiss up, but I swear, being friends with one manager or being on a manager’s good side will save your life. The day is much more pleasant when you know they’re in because the probability of them giving you the shitty jobs to do is unlikely. Plus, they give you more freedom and don’t constantly watch and nag you. There’s a difference between being a kiss up and being friends; you can kiss up to anyone, but you can’t be just anyone’s friend.

TIP #4 Speed Walking


speed walking
Look at those hips go!// Source: GIPHY

Always speed walk, never stroll. When you stroll, you get caught by customers, when you speed walk you avoid a lot of shoppers because you look busy. Maybe add a little bitch face and you won’t have much problems by passing customers… unless you’re the only one in the department, then you’re screwed. Also, know the peak times when to speed walk your aisles, you may not need to waste your energy at 9 in the morning, might as well save it for the after-work rush.

TIP #5 The Only Skin You Should Have is Thick Skin

don't care
When customers insult you// Source: GIPHY

You’ll meet a lot of rude customers, and 99.9% of the time they want to make you feel like crap. They will say tons of hurtful things trying to get you down, but don’t let them. You need to remember that they don’t know you. Whatever they say to you, brush it off because it’s a bunch of bull. Don’t take anything to heart. I know it’s tough, and if you’re anything like me and hate to be criticized, you just have to keep telling yourself that they’re not worth it and you know what a Boss Ass Bitch you are. Don’t let them get under your skin because they’re not worth it in the long run.

TIP #6 You Need Patience Higher the 420

Source: GIPHY

You need to get your patience level extremely high. You’ll always have to deal with an annoying co-worker, a bitchy customer, a manager with a stick up their butt and whatever else your workplace tries to throw at you to piss you off. But with patience higher than the CN Tower, no one can bring you down. Do whatever you need to, to get to a high tolerance. You don’t want your patience to be compared to a lightweight, compared to getting white girl wasted. You want your patience to be up there, and I’m talking “I finished half a bottle of vodka and I’m still chilling” up there. My suggestion; watch a couple of Keeping Up with the Kardashian’s episode, that’ll already start prepping you just by learning how to deal with their annoying voices. Sorry not Sorry Kardashians.

There are so many tips that can help you survive the retail floor. There are millions, probably billions of retail workers who have their own tricks and that’s the beauty of tips, they’re subjective. Everyone is going to deal with a situation in their own way, but it’s a good thing to come together as a community and help each other out.  Who knows, your tips and tricks of how to survive the retail floor could save someone from another crappy customer.

Get your pens and papers out and get ready for some new tips! Please like and comment below some survival tips you have for the retail floor!


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